SICK REVIEW: NATALIE IS BACK AS THE BLACK SWAN  

Natalie Portman plays a horny schizophrenic Ballerina who wants some good masturbation but she can’t because her mom is a creepy weirdo and she would wake up all horny and shit and stick those fingers up her vagina — only to find out her mom is sleeping in the same room and be all like holy shit. Natalie is so horny that she would start to see her teachers, swan mates, and even an old guy sitting next to her in a train playing with her vagina. 10 minutes before Natalie’s debut amateur porn is over, the director gets bored and tries to pull a fight club/shutter island on you — in a transparent  attempt to trigger the academy hags for some nominations and critical applause.